one time i was walking across the courtyard and some kids were clustered around where the seagulls always are and then this kid fuckin GRABBED ONE OUT OF THE AIR and i was literally so fucking amazed but all his friends were like “tyrone put that shit down” and “again tyrone?? really??” which is even better because it means he was a habitual seagull catcher
mom: i love you (:
me: Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.
"hope you brought a change of clothes, ‘cause your eyes are about to piss tears."